you want me to do what?

A very scary and intimidating woman comes up to me. She's wearing a long flowy dress and an even longer, flowier overcoat that trails behind her as she walks. Her long blown-out model-like hair looks flawless but her eyes are small and squinty. I'm sitting in a chair in the corner of the salon trying to stay out of the way and mind my own business when I see her walking towards me. My stomach drops because for some reason, I automatically think I've messed something up (even though I wasn't doing anything) and that I'm in trouble.

"How familiar are you with the subways?"
"Um.. completely unfamiliar, actually. I'm from New Jersey."
"Well Carol, (what the hell, it's Caroline) get familiar. Fast. I need you to go to Harlem in 20 minutes to pick up 100 cupcakes for the Fashion Night Out event tonight. It's important. Be back no later than 4:30"

YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?! I didn't say that.. but obviously my facial expressions did.

"You'll be fine. You're going to take the R uptown to 42nd, transfer at... and pick up... and get off at... and walk to..."

Carol has no idea what the fuck this lady's talking about.

Red lines? Number two trains? Platforms? I instantly start sweating and I see awkward Caroline walk right past her, towards me, and take my place. No longer am I confident and sure of myself. I have one hour to go to Harlem, pick up ONE HUNDRED CUP CAKES and get back to SoHo. One hour. That's it. I don't even know where the closest subway station is.

Well, to my surprise, and apparently everyone else's, I did it. I didn't get lost, I made it back in time, and I didn't ruin any of the cup cakes. I did, however, stick out like a sore thumb and sweat through two shirts on the trains.

Oh, and if one more person calls me Carol, I'm going to punch them right in the face.